I think this is my favorite post yet. I got lost in the story of beer pong and the reporter, which I hadn’t done in too many previous posts. It was fun.

I loved reading your introduction to the college bar scene. Being American, I’d never thought about how it might look to an outsider. Part of me wishes you’d fleshed that out a bit, but it wasn’t relevant to the story, so I understand.

Speaking of not relevant to the story, there was a lot of that in this one. I understand that these posts were all pumped out as quick as possible, that you want to keep the stories coming, that these are relatively rough drafts you’re posting, and that your focus is on relating your experiences rather than telling a single story. So, take this critique with a grain of salt, I suppose:

Like Tom, I was left wondering what the heck happened with “kkk” girl. Why’d you go through all the trouble of creating a story-line centered around her if it led to “I walked into the bar. She was next to Tucker. THE END!” If you’re going to introduce a character, they’d better be at least slightly pertinent to your overall story. She seemed 100% pointless.

I liked most your description of the ice queen. Everyone has known or met people like that and description of her made her easy for me to picture. I loved watching Bill do what no one I’ve ever known or seen do, crack the ice. It was fascinating to read. And you told it well. I might’ve liked a few more details around the moments before and during the fall of her glacial barrier. It’s a fantastic and rare moment. I wanted to see more of it. But maybe more was unnecessary. I loved what was there.

In regards to Johnny Doe (who I’m sure will never read this), it’s sad how bitter you are, man. I don’t mean that in a condescending way. It’s authentically sad. Women are people just like men. Some are awesome, some suck. Stuff like, “[they] say u try too hard, despite making them laugh and smile in the VERY same way Dawes does to this ice princess chick? check,” show your lack of perspective. Clearly it was not the exact same way as Dawes because Dawes got her in bed. Dawes tickled her sexual fancy while you tickled her like a little brother. Sorry.

-J

Grif, I’m confused. I don’t have a problem with this pattern but I do find it hard to understand due to lack of background info or explanation.

Why don’t you ever seal the deal or at least write about it when you get laid on tour? I figure it’s one of the following but not sure.

1) Grif does not get laid on tour.

2) Grif gets laid but is a gentleman and does not kiss & tell.

3) Grif gets laid but has someone at home and doesn’t want to piss him/her off.

4) Grif is saving himself for Ballsack 3.0.

But seriously man, you seem to have a fair share of chicks talking to you and asking for your digits. Why no hammering the fat pocket?

Griffin: You know us Canadians are polite, respectful people.

Griffin:
Whoa.